tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293489442024-03-13T08:56:43.063+08:00just like sunny days we ignorejovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.comBlogger134125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-85423069414236401272009-06-13T16:35:00.002+08:002009-06-13T16:43:14.618+08:00jagged little pill<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=312e1sl.gif" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/312e1sl.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />you <b>live</b> you learn.<br />you<b> love</b> you learn.<div>you <b>cry</b> you learn.<br />you <b>lose</b> you learn.<br />you <b>bleed</b> you learn.<br />you <b>scream</b> you learn.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">you learn - alanis morissette</span></i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=doxohd.gif" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/doxohd.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span></div>jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-53445017278300163552009-05-16T01:42:00.002+08:002009-05-16T01:51:24.951+08:00i'm a weirdo.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=radiohead_creepCDR.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/radiohead_creepCDR.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i don't care if it hurts.<br />i wanna have control.<br />i want a perfect body.<br />i want a perfect soul.<br />i want you to notice.<br />when i'm not around.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=comicvaginalol1.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/comicvaginalol1.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br />i'm sick of being tired.<br />i'm tired of being sick.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-69668248640480000082009-05-09T20:21:00.003+08:002009-05-09T20:37:08.542+08:00da ba dee da ba die.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=lfmskeq8xz7fciapcj74.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/lfmskeq8xz7fciapcj74.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />please stop coming into my dreams<br />and telling me you love me<br />and you only want to be with me<br />and only me<br />cause in truth its not the truth.<br />and honestly, it fucking hurts.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=album-europop.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/album-europop.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br />yo listen up here's a story <br />about a little guy<br />who lives in a blue world <br />and all day and all night<br />and everything he sees is just blue<br />like him inside and outside.<br />blue his house.<br />with the blue little window<br />and a blue corvette<br />and everything is blue for him<div>and his self and everyone around</div><div>cause he ain't got nobody to listen to.<br /><br />i'm blue<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br />i've OD'd and i've died.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.</div>jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-40212939006065895082009-05-08T00:41:00.000+08:002009-05-08T00:41:00.951+08:00parallax movement.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=sw7yoiprgu79afgov.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/sw7yoiprgu79afgov.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">just like sunny days that we ignore<br />because we're dumb and jaded.<br />and i hope to god i figure out what's wrong.</span>jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-67651603802142657782009-05-07T00:43:00.000+08:002009-05-07T00:43:00.210+08:00photosensitive epilepsy.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=flulzm896193e.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/flulzm896193e.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br />photosensitive epilepsy is a form of epilepsy in which seizures are triggered by visual stimuli that forms patterns in time or space such as flashing lights, bold, regular patterns or regular moving patterns.<br /><br />eg.<br /><br />he sees a flashing red light on an ambulance.<br />it's 9.45 pm.<br />he stares at the light.<br />he feels a weird sensation or an "aura".<br />he goes into a seizure.<br />after a second or two.<br />he looks at his watch.<br />it's 10.30 pm.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-4405836824620947792009-05-06T22:56:00.002+08:002009-05-06T23:09:49.656+08:00floaters.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=5202008120258PM_Sense.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/5202008120258PM_Sense.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br />Floaters.<br /><br />Floaters are deposits in the eye's vitreous humour.<br />Floaters are visible because of the shadow they casts on the retina.<br />More commonly known as <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">myodesopsia</span>.<br />They appear like worms, or loose strands in your field of view.<br />They are transparent.<br />They tend to follow your movement of the eye.<br />As though the floaters are "swimming" in your eye.<br />This is very apparent in old patients or high myopic patients.<br />High myopic means high-powered short-sighted patients.<br />Floaters are due to the degeneration of the retina.<br />When the eyeball elongates, the retina is stretched.<br />Thus causing the retina to detach in small amounts.<br />Floaters generally does not cause any harm at all.<br />Although it might interfere with the field of view.<br />If floaters are diagnosed, there are no need for concern.<br />Refer to your optometrist when you see a sudden increase in floaters.<br />This is very likely to be retinal detachment.<br />In which the retina "peels away" from the eye.<br />This could lead to loss of vision.<br />Or blindness.<br />It is a medical emergency.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=190px-Floaters.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/190px-Floaters.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">floaters.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.</span>jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-53765417741519074752009-05-05T13:29:00.002+08:002009-05-05T17:09:37.732+08:00take me away (acoustic).<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=9f2figziogn8oo1evwtt.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/9f2figziogn8oo1evwtt.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Q : what do you call a deer with no eye?<br /><br />A : No i-dea<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-48791282953810448672009-05-04T22:39:00.000+08:002009-05-06T23:10:40.211+08:00gravity.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=0ompext71a15u3nqr1fj.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/0ompext71a15u3nqr1fj.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i miss your purple hair.<br />i miss the way you taste.</span></span>jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-77421365114815359902009-04-25T15:15:00.002+08:002009-04-25T15:26:30.820+08:00i hope you choke and die.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=motivator2639031.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/motivator2639031.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and is that what you call tact?<br />you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.<br />so, is that what you call a getaway?<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">well tell me what you got away with.</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">cause i've seen more spine in jellyfish.<br />i've seen more guts in eleven year olds.</span><br />have another drink and drive yourself home.<br />i hope there's ice on all the roads.<br />and you can think of me when you forgot your seatbelt.<br />and again when your head goes through the windshield.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">seventy times seven - brand new</span></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">you terrybly despise me. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.</span></span>jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-33217311361152327132009-04-19T00:01:00.000+08:002009-04-18T21:36:45.063+08:00knock knock.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=exercise.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/exercise.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">me</span> : knock knock !<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">sis</span> : who's there?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">me</span> : babi.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">sis</span> : babi who?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">me</span> : babi Q !<br /><br />*laughters*<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">me</span> : knock knock !<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">sis</span> : who's there?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">me</span> : mos.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">sis</span> : mos who?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">me</span> : mosQUITO !!<br /><br />*more laughters*<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">me</span> : who's there?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">sis</span> : knock knock<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">me</span> : *stares at sis*<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">sis</span> : *stares at me*<br /><br />*rolling on floor laughing*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-53750220081765694052009-04-18T19:56:00.003+08:002009-04-18T20:07:26.661+08:00les miserables.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=motivator5126509.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/motivator5126509.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">simon</span> : what's your name darling?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">susan</span> : my name is susan boyle.<br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">simon</span> : how old are you susan?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">susan</span> : i'm 47.<br /><br />*crowds jeering*<br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">simon</span> : okay, what's the dream?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">susan</span> : i'm trying to be a professional singer.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">simon</span> : and why hasn't it worked out so far susan?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">susan</span> : i've never been given a chance before but here's hoping it'll change.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">simon</span> : and who would you like to be as successful as?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">susan</span> : elaine page.<br /><br />*more crowds jeering*<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">piers</span> : what are you gonna sing tonight?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">susan</span> : i'm gonna sing, i dreamed a dream from les miserables.<br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">susan</span> : i dreamed a dream in time gone by...<br /><br />*large crowds cheers*<br /><br />*the rest is epic*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-4844754428335720522009-04-18T00:22:00.002+08:002009-04-18T00:25:32.617+08:00ring.waterfall.dragon.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=BadHabitsChildSmoke.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/BadHabitsChildSmoke.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br />your love's like one last cigarette.<br />i will savor it.<br />take it in and hold your breathe.<br />hope it never ends.<br />but when it's gone, it's gone.<br />one last cigarette.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-57627464751698013122009-04-17T23:58:00.003+08:002009-04-18T00:17:42.388+08:00my sweetest friend.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=hurtjc.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/hurtjc.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i hurt myself today.<br />to see if i still feel.<br />i focus on the pain.<br />the only thing that's real.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"he's the north star - imperfect but always honest"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=hurtjc2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/hurtjc2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-71680580734245370022009-04-15T00:01:00.001+08:002009-04-15T00:01:00.431+08:00happy ghost.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=curiosity.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/curiosity.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a> </span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">wife cooking in kitchen and husband walks in.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">husband</span> : honey, can you tell me how you cook all these?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : oh sweetie, that's a suprise ! why'd you want to know?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">husband</span> : so i won't have to make the same mistakes. =D<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : *slaps*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-6896749249513274552009-04-14T00:01:00.000+08:002009-04-14T00:01:00.510+08:0013 union.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=ebay.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/ebay.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">wife reading magazine while husband is watching tv.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : hey dear, it says here, the amount of words women use a day is 30,000.<br /> compared to a man's 15,000.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">husband</span> : ...<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : it states that it's because we have to repeat everything to men.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">husband </span>: what'd you say?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-67753638332502549302009-04-13T00:01:00.001+08:002009-04-13T00:01:00.372+08:00alice in wunderland.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=elephants.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/elephants.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">witness and lawyer in a court.</span><br /><br /><br /><br />lawyer : have you ever been married ?!<br /><br />witness : yes i have.<br /><br />lawyer : how many times?!<br /><br />witness : once.<br /><br />lawyer : and to whom?!<br /><br />witness : to a woman.<br /><br />lawyer : of course you married a woman.<br /> did you hear of anyone marrying a man?!? *laughter*<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">*jury laughter*</span><br /><br />witness : yes. my sister.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-24906861115238754252009-04-12T00:01:00.000+08:002009-04-12T00:01:00.512+08:00yes i'm the great pretender.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=opmasturbationwq4.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/opmasturbationwq4.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /><br />husband and wife dressing up for dinner.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : darling, do you think this dress makes my butt look big?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">husband</span> : nah<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : you sure?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">husband</span> : yea, at least not as big as yesterday's.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : *slaps*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-45030378816086889362009-04-11T19:10:00.003+08:002009-04-11T19:25:06.272+08:00oh carol !<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=unique.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/unique.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a> </span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">wife and husband at a restaurant.</span><br /><br /><br />waiter : sir, what would you like to have?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">husband</span> : i'll have the steak bloody, medium rare please.<br /><br />waiter : aren't you worried about the mad cow sir?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">husband</span> : nah, she can order for herself.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : *slaps*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-576194393478679702009-04-10T02:43:00.000+08:002009-04-11T19:10:25.411+08:00c/d ratio.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=sense.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/sense.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">husband watching tv<br /></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : so darling what's on tv?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">husband</span> : dust.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : *slaps*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-45801531199788535902009-04-09T22:02:00.002+08:002009-04-09T22:19:38.548+08:00j mpwf zpv.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=MassFacepalm.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/MassFacepalm.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />wife standing infront of mirror.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : honey, i think i look old, fat and ugly ! =\<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">husband</span> : huh?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : i'm depressed, compliment me please. <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">husband</span> : well, your eyesight's damn near perfect. =D<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">wife</span> : *slaps*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-33303369333002082792009-04-08T22:15:00.002+08:002009-04-08T22:22:26.692+08:00rule #1 : there's no rule.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=jealousy-arshavin-and-bendtner-480x.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/jealousy-arshavin-and-bendtner-480x.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">while watching " who wants to be a millionaire? "<br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">husband</span> : do you want to have sex?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">wife</span> : no.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">husband</span> : is that your final answer?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">wife</span> : yes<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">husband</span> : then i would like to phone a friend.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">wife</span> : *slaps*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.</span></span>jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-39201654080404509682009-04-07T21:56:00.000+08:002009-04-08T22:15:20.175+08:00die for me.kill for you.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=358147825a256702da934353c1752fbc0f2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/358147825a256702da934353c1752fbc0f2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">spot the not !</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">husband</span> : darling, do you remember what day is it tomorrow?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">wife</span> : of course, it's your birthday ! how could i forget?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">husband</span> : oh, you remembered despite how busy you were. <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">wife</span> : yup, what do you want dear?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">husband</span> : hmmm.. i want something shiny which goes from 0-150 in 3 secs.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">wife</span> : oh i know exactly what you want. you cheeky cheeky ! =D<br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">next day<br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">wife</span> : happy birthday dear ! muacks ! here's your present !<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">husband</span> : a weighing scale ?!?!?!?!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.</span></span>jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-14962821515332659052009-04-06T22:57:00.002+08:002009-04-06T23:04:30.688+08:00i was wronged.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=archie005.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/archie005.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br />girl has crush on boy.<br /><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">girl</span> : hey !<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">boy</span> : i love you..<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">girl</span> : oh... =) .. er.. =D .. me too !<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">boy</span> : sorry wrong convo.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">girl</span> : oh... it's okay.......... =)<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">boy</span> : yea gtg byeejovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-29033881282090203032009-03-31T00:01:00.000+08:002009-03-31T00:01:00.360+08:00six suspects.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=archie004.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/archie004.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />.<br />..<br />...<br /><br />ring. ring. ring.<br /><br />*click*<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">30 secs</span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">voice on phone</span> : good evening , this is MazelTov Corps.<br /> how may i be of your assistance today?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">mr. benny lava</span> : hello, is maggie there?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">voice on phone</span> : are you looking for ms. maggie may?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">mr. benny lava</span> : yes please.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">voice on phone</span> : i'm sorry but she quit her deskjob a week ago.<br /> i am her new <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">replacement</span>. <br /> may i know who is on the line and how may i help you? <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">20 secs</span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">mr. benny lava</span> : i'm actually in a gameshow right now,<br /> and i need an answer for this question.<br /> <br /> Memories are<br /> a ) erased<br /> b ) replaced<br /><br /> i kinda figured it out myself already but what's your take on it?<br /> <br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">voice on phone</span> : well, i would choose to cherish my memories.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">mr. benny lava</span> : uhh..that's a good one, i would too.<br /> if only it was great? *snickers*<br /> thank you.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">voice on phone</span> : no problem, thanks for calli...<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">10 secs</span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">mr. benny lava</span> : wait hold on, what's your name?<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">voice on phone</span> : iris. iris woolrich.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">mr. benny lava</span> : that's a very beautiful name you've got there.<br /> thank you very much.<br /> and have a pleasant evening.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">voice on phone </span>: you too. thank you for calling MazelTov Corps.<br /> and all the best in your gameshow.<br /><br />*click*<br /><br /><br /><br />.jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29348944.post-37352604233904195682009-03-30T22:09:00.000+08:002009-03-29T22:16:52.408+08:00gobsmacked.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/?action=view&current=archie007.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j151/joviris/archie007.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><br />host : this is your $1,000,000 dollar question, mr. benny lava.<br /> and you have two lifelines left. <br /><br /> Memories are<br /> a) erased<br /> b) replaced<br /> c) created <br /> d) destroyed<br /><br />mr. benny lava : i would like to use a lifeline, 50/50.<br /><br />host : alright, this leaves you down to two choices<br /> a) erased<br /> b) replaced<br /><br />mr. benny lava : i would like to call a friend...jovihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01676362933763129500noreply@blogger.com0