0 comments Published Saturday, April 25, 2009 by jovi.

and is that what you call tact?
you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
so, is that what you call a getaway?
well tell me what you got away with.
cause i've seen more spine in jellyfish.
i've seen more guts in eleven year olds.
have another drink and drive yourself home.
i hope there's ice on all the roads.
and you can think of me when you forgot your seatbelt.
and again when your head goes through the windshield.

seventy times seven - brand new

you terrybly despise me.

.

knock knock.

0 comments Published Sunday, April 19, 2009 by jovi.

me : knock knock !

sis : who's there?

me : babi.

sis : babi who?

me : babi Q !

*laughters*

me : knock knock !

sis : who's there?

me : mos.

sis : mos who?

me : mosQUITO !!

*more laughters*

me : who's there?

sis : knock knock

me : *stares at sis*

sis : *stares at me*

*rolling on floor laughing*

.

les miserables.

0 comments Published Saturday, April 18, 2009 by jovi.

simon : what's your name darling?

susan : my name is susan boyle.

simon : how old are you susan?

susan : i'm 47.

*crowds jeering*

simon : okay, what's the dream?

susan : i'm trying to be a professional singer.

simon : and why hasn't it worked out so far susan?

susan : i've never been given a chance before but here's hoping it'll change.

simon : and who would you like to be as successful as?

susan : elaine page.

*more crowds jeering*

piers : what are you gonna sing tonight?

susan : i'm gonna sing, i dreamed a dream from les miserables.

susan : i dreamed a dream in time gone by...

*large crowds cheers*

*the rest is epic*

.

ring.waterfall.dragon.

0 comments Published by jovi.

your love's like one last cigarette.
i will savor it.
take it in and hold your breathe.
hope it never ends.
but when it's gone, it's gone.
one last cigarette.

.

my sweetest friend.

0 comments Published Friday, April 17, 2009 by jovi.

i hurt myself today.
to see if i still feel.
i focus on the pain.
the only thing that's real.

"he's the north star - imperfect but always honest"

happy ghost.

0 comments Published Wednesday, April 15, 2009 by jovi.

wife cooking in kitchen and husband walks in.

husband : honey, can you tell me how you cook all these?

wife : oh sweetie, that's a suprise ! why'd you want to know?

husband : so i won't have to make the same mistakes. =D

wife : *slaps*

.

13 union.

0 comments Published Tuesday, April 14, 2009 by jovi.

wife reading magazine while husband is watching tv.

wife : hey dear, it says here, the amount of words women use a day is 30,000.
compared to a man's 15,000.

husband : ...

wife : it states that it's because we have to repeat everything to men.

husband : what'd you say?

.

alice in wunderland.

0 comments Published Monday, April 13, 2009 by jovi.

witness and lawyer in a court.

lawyer : have you ever been married ?!

witness : yes i have.

lawyer : how many times?!

witness : once.

lawyer : and to whom?!

witness : to a woman.

lawyer : of course you married a woman.
did you hear of anyone marrying a man?!? *laughter*

*jury laughter*

witness : yes. my sister.

.

yes i'm the great pretender.

0 comments Published Sunday, April 12, 2009 by jovi.

husband and wife dressing up for dinner.

wife : darling, do you think this dress makes my butt look big?

husband : nah

wife : you sure?

husband : yea, at least not as big as yesterday's.

wife : *slaps*

.

oh carol !

0 comments Published Saturday, April 11, 2009 by jovi.

wife and husband at a restaurant.

waiter : sir, what would you like to have?

husband : i'll have the steak bloody, medium rare please.

waiter : aren't you worried about the mad cow sir?

husband : nah, she can order for herself.

wife : *slaps*

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c/d ratio.

0 comments Published Friday, April 10, 2009 by jovi.

husband watching tv

wife : so darling what's on tv?

husband : dust.

wife : *slaps*

.

j mpwf zpv.

0 comments Published Thursday, April 09, 2009 by jovi.

wife standing infront of mirror.

wife : honey, i think i look old, fat and ugly ! =\

husband : huh?

wife : i'm depressed, compliment me please.

husband : well, your eyesight's damn near perfect. =D

wife : *slaps*

.

rule #1 : there's no rule.

0 comments Published Wednesday, April 08, 2009 by jovi.

while watching " who wants to be a millionaire? "

husband : do you want to have sex?

wife : no.

husband : is that your final answer?

wife : yes

husband : then i would like to phone a friend.

wife : *slaps*

.

die for me.kill for you.

0 comments Published Tuesday, April 07, 2009 by jovi.

spot the not !

husband : darling, do you remember what day is it tomorrow?

wife : of course, it's your birthday ! how could i forget?

husband : oh, you remembered despite how busy you were.

wife : yup, what do you want dear?

husband : hmmm.. i want something shiny which goes from 0-150 in 3 secs.

wife : oh i know exactly what you want. you cheeky cheeky ! =D

next day

wife : happy birthday dear ! muacks ! here's your present !

husband : a weighing scale ?!?!?!?!

.

i was wronged.

0 comments Published Monday, April 06, 2009 by jovi.

girl has crush on boy.

girl : hey !

boy : i love you..

girl : oh... =) .. er.. =D .. me too !

boy : sorry wrong convo.

girl : oh... it's okay.......... =)

boy : yea gtg byee