Published Saturday, April 25, 2009 by jovi.
and is that what you call tact?
you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
so, is that what you call a getaway?well tell me what you got away with.cause i've seen more spine in jellyfish.
i've seen more guts in eleven year olds.
have another drink and drive yourself home.
i hope there's ice on all the roads.
and you can think of me when you forgot your seatbelt.
and again when your head goes through the windshield.seventy times seven - brand newyou terrybly despise me.
Published Sunday, April 19, 2009 by jovi.
: knock knock !sis
: who's there?me
: babi who?me
: babi Q !
: knock knock !sis
: who's there?me
: mos who?me
: mosQUITO !!
: who's there?sis
: knock knockme
: *stares at sis*sis
: *stares at me*
*rolling on floor laughing*
Published Saturday, April 18, 2009 by jovi.
: what's your name darling?susan
: my name is susan boyle.simon
: how old are you susan?susan
: i'm 47.
: okay, what's the dream?susan
: i'm trying to be a professional singer.simon
: and why hasn't it worked out so far susan?susan
: i've never been given a chance before but here's hoping it'll change.simon
: and who would you like to be as successful as?susan
: elaine page.
*more crowds jeering*piers
: what are you gonna sing tonight?susan
: i'm gonna sing, i dreamed a dream from les miserables.susan
: i dreamed a dream in time gone by...
*large crowds cheers*
*the rest is epic*
Published by jovi.
your love's like one last cigarette.
i will savor it.
take it in and hold your breathe.
hope it never ends.
but when it's gone, it's gone.
one last cigarette.
Published Friday, April 17, 2009 by jovi.
i hurt myself today.
to see if i still feel.
i focus on the pain.
the only thing that's real.
"he's the north star - imperfect but always honest"
Published Wednesday, April 15, 2009 by jovi.
wife cooking in kitchen and husband walks in.husband
: honey, can you tell me how you cook all these?wife
: oh sweetie, that's a suprise ! why'd you want to know?husband
: so i won't have to make the same mistakes. =Dwife
Published Tuesday, April 14, 2009 by jovi.
wife reading magazine while husband is watching tv.wife
: hey dear, it says here, the amount of words women use a day is 30,000.
compared to a man's 15,000.husband
: it states that it's because we have to repeat everything to men.husband
: what'd you say?
Published Monday, April 13, 2009 by jovi.
witness and lawyer in a court.
lawyer : have you ever been married ?!
witness : yes i have.
lawyer : how many times?!
witness : once.
lawyer : and to whom?!
witness : to a woman.
lawyer : of course you married a woman.
did you hear of anyone marrying a man?!? *laughter**jury laughter*
witness : yes. my sister.
Published Sunday, April 12, 2009 by jovi.
husband and wife dressing up for dinner.wife
: darling, do you think this dress makes my butt look big?husband
: you sure?husband
: yea, at least not as big as yesterday's.wife
Published Saturday, April 11, 2009 by jovi.
wife and husband at a restaurant.
waiter : sir, what would you like to have?husband
: i'll have the steak bloody, medium rare please.
waiter : aren't you worried about the mad cow sir?husband
: nah, she can order for herself.wife
Published Friday, April 10, 2009 by jovi.
husband watching tv
: so darling what's on tv?husband
Published Thursday, April 09, 2009 by jovi.
wife standing infront of mirror.wife
: honey, i think i look old, fat and ugly ! =\husband
: i'm depressed, compliment me please. husband
: well, your eyesight's damn near perfect. =Dwife
Published Tuesday, April 07, 2009 by jovi.
spot the not !husband
: darling, do you remember what day is it tomorrow?wife
: of course, it's your birthday ! how could i forget?husband
: oh, you remembered despite how busy you were. wife
: yup, what do you want dear?husband
: hmmm.. i want something shiny which goes from 0-150 in 3 secs.wife
: oh i know exactly what you want. you cheeky cheeky ! =Dnext day
wife : happy birthday dear ! muacks ! here's your present !
husband : a weighing scale ?!?!?!?!
Published Monday, April 06, 2009 by jovi.
girl has crush on boy.girl
: hey !boy
: i love you..girl
: oh... =) .. er.. =D .. me too !boy
: sorry wrong convo.girl
: oh... it's okay.......... =)boy
: yea gtg byee