just like sunny days we ignore




i hope you choke and die.

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and is that what you call tact?
you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
so, is that what you call a getaway?
well tell me what you got away with.
cause i've seen more spine in jellyfish.
i've seen more guts in eleven year olds.

have another drink and drive yourself home.
i hope there's ice on all the roads.
and you can think of me when you forgot your seatbelt.
and again when your head goes through the windshield.












seventy times seven - brand new
















you terrybly despise me. 











.


knock knock.

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me : knock knock !

sis : who's there?

me : babi.

sis : babi who?

me : babi Q !

*laughters*

me : knock knock !

sis : who's there?

me : mos.

sis : mos who?

me : mosQUITO !!

*more laughters*

me : who's there?

sis : knock knock

me : *stares at sis*

sis : *stares at me*

*rolling on floor laughing*




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les miserables.

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simon : what's your name darling?

susan : my name is susan boyle.



simon : how old are you susan?

susan : i'm 47.

*crowds jeering*


simon : okay, what's the dream?

susan : i'm trying to be a professional singer.

simon : and why hasn't it worked out so far susan?

susan : i've never been given a chance before but here's hoping it'll change.

simon : and who would you like to be as successful as?

susan : elaine page.

*more crowds jeering*

piers : what are you gonna sing tonight?

susan : i'm gonna sing, i dreamed a dream from les miserables.


susan : i dreamed a dream in time gone by...

*large crowds cheers*

*the rest is epic*






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ring.waterfall.dragon.

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your love's like one last cigarette.
i will savor it.
take it in and hold your breathe.
hope it never ends.
but when it's gone, it's gone.
one last cigarette.









.


my sweetest friend.

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i hurt myself today.
to see if i still feel.
i focus on the pain.
the only thing that's real.









"he's the north star - imperfect but always honest"








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happy ghost.

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wife cooking in kitchen and husband walks in.


husband : honey, can you tell me how you cook all these?

wife : oh sweetie, that's a suprise ! why'd you want to know?

husband : so i won't have to make the same mistakes. =D

wife : *slaps*







.


13 union.

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wife reading magazine while husband is watching tv.


wife : hey dear, it says here, the amount of words women use a day is 30,000.
           compared to a man's 15,000.

husband : ...

wife : it states that it's because we have to repeat everything to men.

husband : what'd you say?




.


alice in wunderland.

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witness and lawyer in a court.



lawyer : have you ever been married ?!

witness : yes i have.

lawyer : how many times?!

witness : once.

lawyer : and to whom?!

witness : to a woman.

lawyer : of course you married a woman.
               did you hear of anyone marrying a man?!? *laughter*

*jury laughter*

witness : yes. my sister.







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yes i'm the great pretender.

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husband and wife dressing up for dinner.




wife : darling, do you think this dress makes my butt look big?

husband : nah

wife : you sure?

husband : yea, at least not as big as yesterday's.

wife : *slaps*






.


oh carol !

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wife and husband at a restaurant.


waiter : sir, what would you like to have?

husband : i'll have the steak bloody, medium rare please.

waiter : aren't you worried about the mad cow sir?

husband : nah, she can order for herself.

wife : *slaps*








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c/d ratio.

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husband watching tv


wife : so darling what's on tv?

husband : dust.

wife : *slaps*







.


j mpwf zpv.

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wife standing infront of mirror.

wife : honey, i think i look old, fat and ugly ! =\

husband : huh?

wife : i'm depressed, compliment me please. 

husband : well, your eyesight's damn near perfect. =D

wife : *slaps*





.


rule #1 : there's no rule.

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while watching " who wants to be a millionaire? "



husband : do you want to have sex?

wife : no.

husband : is that your final answer?

wife : yes

husband : then i would like to phone a friend.

wife : *slaps*





.


die for me.kill for you.

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spot the not !




husband : darling, do you remember what day is it tomorrow?

wife : of course, it's your birthday ! how could i forget?

husband : oh, you remembered despite how busy you were. 

wife : yup, what do you want dear?

husband : hmmm.. i want something shiny which goes from 0-150 in 3 secs.

wife : oh i know exactly what you want. you cheeky cheeky ! =D


next day


wife : happy birthday dear ! muacks ! here's your present !

husband : a weighing scale ?!?!?!?!





.


i was wronged.

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girl has crush on boy.


girl : hey !

boy : i love you..

girl : oh... =) .. er.. =D .. me too !

boy : sorry wrong convo.

girl : oh... it's okay.......... =)

boy : yea gtg byee



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